If programming languages were countries, which country would each language represent?

Hey, what a funny question! ;-) 
I don't mean to offend. This is just a joke. 

C – Russia. Everything has to be done in a backwards way, but everything is possible, and there's a lot of legacy.

C++ – USA. Powerful, but more and more complicated, unreadable, error-prone. Tends to dominate and influence everything.

Python – Netherlands. Modern, rich, easily approachable, attractive for various reasons, but not the top performer.

Haskell – Monaco. Not many people, but very rich, so they don’t have to consider lower classes’ problems.

Java – Sweden. Comfortable, but has its own king and currency.

JavaScript – China. Developing really fast and can do lots of surprising stuff. A lot of users.

Basic – Finland. Easy to use, but not very powerful.

Assembly – Lesotho, which is completely surrounded by South Africa. Rarely used nowadays to make a whole program, more often as an included part of a bigger code in higher level language.

PHP – Bangladesh. Poor, but numerous, and it's found all over the web.

Pascal – Germany. Strict rules, good performance. And there are many people who just don't like the language.

Bash – Switzerland. Not very big in itself, but pulls the strings of the others.

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Update – based on comments:

Lisp – India. It was the origin of many philosophies, derivatives of which became more popular than the original.

Swift – Japan. Technically advanced, but isolated on its island and uses unreadable characters.

Ruby – Singapore. Advanced, but small.

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To add some more fun – a few more languages:

Factor – Antarctica. Easily has representatives of all other countries, but really underpopulated and hard to get used to. Although it has some unique and spectacular features.

Lua – San Marino. Tiny and completely within another country, but fully functional, quite rich, and independent.

SQL – Saudi Arabia. You depend on it to fetch you the stuff that you need. Rich and potent, but you need to be smart to optimize your interaction with it. Also, different SQL implementations have their own peculiarities, like different arab countries around Saudi Arabia.

ActionScript – Taiwan. If JavaScript is China, ActionScript is a splinter of it that wants to own everything but lacks the support of its bigger brother and many other countries. Quite noticeable though for its visually compelling product (at least, in the past).

APL – Mesopotamia. Incomprehensible cuneiform script that was once great in its area, but gave way to its more modern heirs.

Forth – Maldives. Remote from all mainland and likely to disappear underwater due to climate change. Known for its backwards writing direction.

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Java: USA -- optimistic, powerful, likes to gloss over inconveniences.

C++: UK -- strong and exacting, but not so good at actually finishing things and tends to get overtaken by Java.

Python: The Netherlands. "Hey no problem, let'sh do it guysh!"

Ruby: France. Powerful, stylish and convinced of its own correctness, but somewhat ignored by everyone else.

Assembly language: India. Massive, deep, vitally important but full of problems.

Cobol: Russia. Once very powerful and written with managers in mind; but has ended up losing out.

SQL and PL/SQL: Germany. - A forth reigh... oh... generation declarative language that got unified with a third generation imperative one, all banks are based on it. Stiff, rigid, not really into creativity, but source of many rock-solid things made from conservative, traditional engineering principles. Not into "innovation".
 
Javascript: Italy. Massively influential and loved by everyone, but breaks down easily.

Scala: Hungary. Technically pure and correct, but suffers from an unworkable obsession with grammar that will limit its future success.

C: Norway. Tough and dynamic, but not very exciting.

PHP: Brazil. A lot of beauty springs from it and it flaunts itself a lot, but it's secretly very conservative.

LISP: Iceland. Incredibly clever and well-organised, but icy and remote.

Perl: China. Able to do apparently almost anything, but rather inscrutable.

Swift: Japan. One minute it's nowhere, the next it's everywhere and your mobile phone relies on it.

C#: Switzerland. Beautiful and well thought-out, but expect to pay a lot if you want to get seriously involved.

R: Liechtenstein. Probably really amazing, especially if you're into big numbers, but no-one knows what it actually does.

Awk: North Korea. Stubbornly resists change, and its users appear to be unnaturally fond of it for reasons we can only speculate on.